God’s Vagabond Child..

A smile is most beautiful if seldom given. And it feels good, very good, to give this smile..

I felt bad yesterday. It’s no new thing. Another random and spontaneous feeling of sadness and loneliness. It is normal. At least it is normal for me. But how it feels so good to see something that suddenly made me feel quite better. Like the spontaniety of my gloomy feeling, it bursted out of nowhere.. Out of nothing.. Just soo suddenly..

But damn, nothing just seems to stick around long enough. They just stay for a time long enough for me to fall down after their ceremoniously sudden departure..

That is a pattern I’m cautiously aware of. But like commiting a sin, the full regret comes after the bliss.

If I’m regretting and feeling bliss now at my current state– God, take it easy on me!
I only have two hands and a heart, I couldn’t carry more!.. If I am to be punished becuase of my impetuousities, I’ll take it all.

But on human pace.

I saw a flicker in the dark just some time ago. I hope to see the light soon…

Be with me..

Altashheth™

It’s a day after i’ve written that stupidly short composition On silence.

Just yesterday, after having drunk with 2.5 liters of RedHorse, I started to blabber about all my hurts.. How I understood each and everyones own battles within.. How I feel lighter but more guilty everytime I share all of my heavy burdens to those significant others who are willing. Yes, willing but also burdened…

I don’t know if i’ll forver be like this.. If i’ll die being this.. But to all those whom I have shared my life with.. Those souls who are willing to carry more because they want to share with me.. Those who I deeply loved to the point that I hurt.. I thank you.. For I realized one great, obvious, but often neglected thing..

Problems and pains are the utmost essence of living..

ALTASHHETH™

Most often, if I feel everything’s too much.. I tend to keep quite.. And I retreat deep within my thoughts.. This blog has ever been an outlet for my frustrations and pains.. And this part of me is crucial.. My Silence..

I was struck by the line read by Prof. Talledo during one of our Political Thought classes, "Wouldn’t Silence be enough?"..

Indeed.. Wouldn’t silence be enough?. Yes, it really is enough..When I drift into the realm of thought just to ease the burden of the battle within me. Silence. And that’s it, everything seems to melt..

Damn, I haven’t posted anything in this blog since God knows when. My mind seems not to work properly since… Since that Time..

I don’t know.. I think I just have to resort to silence this time.. And resort to silence again and again.. Until.. Until then…

ALTASHHETH™