God’s Vagabond Child..

"If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it"

-Ennis del Mar, Brokeback Mountain

A very thought-provoking line from one of my favorite movies. I write this out of bitter disappointment because since I came back here in Bacolod City, I already failed to post TWO blogposts in a row.. ‘Twas because of the feeble internet connection that they have here in this cafe.. When I clicked "save" after writing those two supposed-to-be-very-good blogposts, the connection fails and a dreadful "PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED" shows up… I was soooo frustrated that I thought of deleting this blog permanently.. I have this compulsive nature at times.. Luckily, I controlled it.. <heavy sigh>

Anyways, I write this in the hope of posting it successfully…

The basic idea of those two failed blogposts was this: I have to accomplish what I intended to do since GOD knows when..

I am back here in Bacolod City. I know it would only be short–after a few sleeps, I would be again back in Iloilo. With this short time, I hope to do it. I have to… If I want to at least recover from my state of stupidly emotional depression…

If I won’t do it, I will continue to wallow in anticipation and gradually waste away in the process..

If I do it however, there will only be two possible fate for me: Be broken, impaled and hurt all the more or be VERY happy.. Eitherway, I know I will live again…

I will have to stand it ‘coz I know that I can never fix it.. No matter what they tell me, it won’t be fixed. I know it, because it’s already within me.. It’s already me..

Be with me..

ALTASHHETH™

Vanya sulie